Swedish Parker!

(click on any image to begin viewing the swanky little popup gallery – thanks to Florence, Maja, Tove and Patrik Ylen for taking so many pics)

An epic win for the boys from Solna.

Despite going into the weekend’s Grand Final as both Reigning Premiers AND current VB Cup holders, we were being touted as underdogs after the Södermalm Blues dominated the home-and-away season.

But we were having none of it. After a solid couple of weeks on the track, the team was pumped for the big day.

Within 10 seconds of the opening bounce, Ryan “Former K-Mart Model” Kingsley had slotted through our first for the day.

But straight away the Blues – through Joel “Awww C’mon Ump!!” Burnell – replied with their own, setting up the the first quarter to be a complete shoot-out.

Despite impressive work from our trusty ruckmen – Marty and the eleven-foot-tall-Matzilla – we went into the first break barely leading: 6.0.36 to 5.1.31.

After the free flowing opening, the respective defenses – lead by our own Patrik “Captain Courageous” Hyberg – tightened in the second stanza.

Going into the half-time break we were left barely hanging onto a four point buffer.

At the opening of the third term we momentarily dropped our guard, allowing Södermalm to get the jump on us. By mid-way through the quarter we were over two goals behind.

However a couple of late replies kept us in it, and at the final break there was still less than a straight kick separating the two teams.

A raw, rousing, straight-to-the-point three-quarter time speech by Coach Kingsley reminded us Axemen that, to spend 12 months training on dodgy footy grounds only to lose the Grand Final by one goal would, to paraphrase politey, be f*&king shithouse.

So we charged into the final quarter of the game, determined to go Back-To-Back and also capture the elusive VB Cup/SAFF Premiership double (never been done before, cheers).

We edged three points clear midway through a see-sawing final term, only to turn around and concede two straight goals to the Blues.

With pretty much noone knowing just how much time remained, the capacity crowd at Årsta Fältet was on the edge of their seats.

The play was tense to say the least; every time the ball came down to our backline it was like life or death – one more goal and the Blues would surely wrap things up.

We managed to keep possession in our forward line for a good three or four minutes, but three shots on goal all narrowly, narrowly missed.

Was that it? Had the Axemen used up all their chances? Would the SAFF Premiership Cup be getting filled with cheap, foul-tasting beer all over Södermalm that evening? (Well, no, obviously not, given the title of this entry… but work with me here.)

The three straight behinds had brought us back to within six points – just one straight kick.

Reminiscent of Geelong in the epic 1989 Grand Final, we began to sense our main opponent was now the clock.

Fortunately, some desperation all over the ground from a determined Solna outfit saw us level the scores just minutes later with a beautiful piece of crumbing by Leslie “I’m 46 but I don’t give a stuff” Clarke.

With the seconds ticking down and the crowd suspecting a draw, both teams heroicly threw themselves at the ball.

It could have gone either way… but after the footy was safely cleared from the Blues attacking zone, Mark “Flex For The Camera” McManus (six goals in a Best-On-Ground performance) stepped up and sent a clever snap flying towards goal, bending it back at the very last second and sending the Axemen players, and much of the crowd wild.

We held on for another 30 seconds and it was all over.

The siren sounded, the Axemen embraced, and the Blues were left heartbroken and pondering what could have been…

…a champion team effort!

It’s on! Our date with destiny…

The Mighty Solna Axemen, reigning SAFF premiers and current holders of the VB Cup, go up against the hapless Södermalm Blues this weekend.

The winner walks away with the coveted title of best Australian Football team in Stockholm (which, given the magnitude of our league, is not something to be taken lightly).

Ryan “Hollywood/former K-Mart model” Kingsley has had the boys training up a storm the past week or two, giving us plenty of confidence to take out the illustrious SAFF/VB double.

A capacity crowd is expected at the home of Stockholm Australian Football, Årsta, with early ticket sales suggesting we may very well get more spectators than players turning up…

It was all over by half-time.

The Blues kicked 3.4 in the second quarter to our solitary behind.

We salvaged some respect by outgunning them in the second half, but it was never going to be enough.

Deep into the third term I dragged myself off the ground after having a shocker. But I got all of two minutes rest before my counterpart in the back pocket came running off looking for a swap.

So with about two minutes left on the clock I sprinted back down there, straight into the action. Didn’t even have time to put my mouthguard back in…

Which turned out to be quite unfortunate. Half a minute later and I had the ball on the wing. I was effing exhausted and all I could see was a big blue blur coming right at me. I got my kick away half a second before Stuey crashed into me.

On the upside we did end up with a Down-The-Field Free Kick for his Late Bump on me (which resulted in an after the siren goal!), but on the downside I lost the use of my jaw for 72 hours…

The ONE time I’ve actually needed a mouthguard in the Stockholm Australian Football League. To add insult to the loss, I couldn’t even eat my burger at the post-match BBQ :-/

The very last moment before I lost complete use of my jaw for the weekend. Cheers Stuey!

Doing my best to milk a free kick for Holding The Man and/or High Tackle. I got neither…

Just returned from the annual footy trip to Finland.

The Stockholm Australian Football League have it every year on the infamous Viking Line cruise from Stockholm to Finland and back.

This boat is supposedly pretty dodgy at the best of times (it’s basically a floating duty free shop, which means the booze onboard is VERY cheap compared with in Stockholm), but fill it with a bunch of Aussie and Swedish AFL players, and it can ugly.

Over the past few weeks we’ve been entertained at training sessions with stories of past cruises.

About the young Aussie guy that got locked up in the hold on three out of his four trips (one particular incarceration for trying to climb the smoke-stacks on top of the ship…).

About the not-so-classy dancing and pick-up attempts on the not-so-classy dancefloor.

About the fact that you’re pretty much guaranteed to be playing the game (oh yeah, the trip is, supposedly, mainly about the annual game between Stockholm Dynamite and the Finland Icebreakers…) the next morning very, very hungover.

So with great joy we boarded the boat on Friday arvo ready to get stuck into another cultural experience.

About 15 of us made the trip, with a scarily large proportion of the group being young Aussie males. Not a good sign.

Within 10 minutes of being onboard, I was standing outside the Duty Free shop with our assistant coach/former male model, Ryan “Hollywood” Kinsgley.

He set a great example for the rest of the team by proceeding to buy three cartons of warm beer (which cost the same as three cold beers at a bar in Stureplan) and taking them up onto the sundeck for the team to enjoy.

Drinking games and a spontaneous game of Deck Footy ensued. By the time the sun had set some time after 10pm, we were all well ready to hit up the “Entertainment Floors”.

And then, from Stuey’s official match report on AussieRules.se:

“After this the players dispersed again some hitting the black jack tables and some heading to the dance floor and the band with the 3 movers and shakers [guilty] from the footy trip clearing the dance floor in a matter of minutes thanks to some magnificent dance moves and sending more beer on the floor then down their throats [after our performance the band singer said, quite sarcastically "Thanks guys, you've ruined it for everyone." lol]. This was followed up with a progression to the club where the boys were not sure of what to expect after the average age of the people getting on the boat was 63.7″

Not sure when I got to bed, but was rudely awaken at 7am being told it was time to disembark.

So with everyone fresh and in great spirits, our fearless leader Jordo thought it’d be a great idea to wander aimlessly for half an hour looking for a breakfast cafe.

We were relieved to find a nice little spot by the water, only to realise they sold nothing but dodgy sandwiches and overpriced water, and would only take Euros (which practically none of us had).

So the rest of us slept in the park nearby as we waited for the bus.

On the way to the footy ground we made a brief stop for supplies, with an impromptu game of Servo Footy breaking out while we were there.

We finally made it to the ground.

It was the first almost-full-sized ground I’d seen in over a year. The Finns were extremely well prepared, and each of them looked as though they’d had as much sleep as our entire team combined.

Hence, the game can pretty much be summed up as: Us three men short, Them not hungover.

If the dehydration wasn’t already bad enough, Finland decided to turn on the nicest day of summer. So we were running around in blazing 32 degree heat for 80 minutes.

Given our condition, it wasn’t surprising that a few men went down. Hollywood twisted his ankle, Striker almost broke his, Shane wound up with three broken ribs, and I had a corked hip so bad that Stuey took great joy in making me laugh all the way home (after realising just how much pain such an act would cause me).

So the return leg of the cruise wasn’t AS lively as the first, at least not until about midnight when the booze from the all you can eat/drink buffet had kicked in.

So another night was spent on the dodgy dancefloor, with me getting a lesson in the Russian language courtesy of three nice young girls from out that way, Stuey dancing with more energy than any of us had put into our game of footy, and young Shadow scoring Best on Ground honours for hooking up with some girl who was sharing the cruise with her mother and brother. Beautiful work.

—

Now it’s Sunday night, I haven’t had a rest in the past 10 days, and I start my six-hours-per-day, extra intensive Swedish lessons in the morning. Ouch.

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Stockholm AFL League (SAFF), Round 5
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Solna Axemen def. Bromma Vikings

Qtr Time: 1.2.8 || 7.3.45

Half Time: 6.7.43 || 8.3.51

3Qtr Time: 9.10.64 || 9.7.61

Full Time: 12.16.88 || 9.9.63
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They’re already calling it the performance of the year.

The Mighty Solna Axemen turn around an abysmal first quarter to run over the top of the hapless Vikings, kicking 11 goals to 2 after qtr time.

The storming North-Easterly blowing through “Bromma Stadium” (a.k.a. that-little-rugby-field-behind-the-airport, kinda in the middle of nowhere) turned it into a quarter to quarter shootout.

But it was the shared goal-kicking performance of gun forward Joel “Buddy” Tjernlund and tearaway midfielders Coach “Former Male Model” Kingsley and Star-Recruit Mark, plus some very stubborn third term defense (the Vikings kicking a solitary with-the-wind goal), that got us up.

The win skyrockets us from dead last to first place (gotta love a three team league!).

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Stockholm League, Round 4
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Solna Axemen def by. Södermalm Blues

Qtr Time: 2.1.13 || 1.5.11

Half Time: 6.3.39 || 2.7.19

3Qtr Time: 6.6.42 || 5.12.42

Full Time: 7.7.49 || 7.14.56
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A heartbreaking loss to the Blues…

We may have towelled them in the first round, but with all of their Swedish and Aussie stars returning, plus the mid-season recruitment of gun Centre-Half Forward Stewie (who has an uncanny resemblance to Hawthorn’s Stewie Dew – in more than a few ways…), Södermalm were always going to be tough.

Despite going up against a full-strength opposition without our Male Model/Coach Ryan Kingsley, the Axemen made the most of the blustery conditions at the home of Swedish (Australian) Football to take a commanding lead into the main break.

With a couple of friends in the grandstand having flown all the way from Aus to see me play, I wasn’t about to let them down.

Unfortunatley I did, because after that it was all downhill…

We were outgunned eight scoring shots to three in the third term, with the Blues scoring a couple of late, cheap goals to setup a thrilling run to the finish for the capacity crowd (it was “Ladies Day at the Footy” aka Free Champagne Day).

While a scrappy start to the last quarter saw us edge a solitary point in front with seven or eight minutes left on the clock, we couldn’t hold back Söder’s stars for as long as we needed to.

With the clock counting down and the free booze having dried up, our Axe-hearts were finally broken, as first Stewie snapped a goal out of nowhere and then I found myself alone in front of goals against Blues forwards Joel and Johnny.

I was stuck in no-mans land: stay on my man (“Defense 101 Parker!”) at the goal line, or race out and try to prevent the other one having an easy shot.

In the end I chose the latter, but a simple handball over my head (I’m still yet to see a five foot full-back in the AFL…) unfortunately sealed a well-deserved win for the boys from the South.

MEANWHILE, media coverage of Swedish Aussie Rules has reached saturation point.

Several articles of late have trumped up the game nobody-understands-but-just-assumes-must-be-rugby and how it’s sweeping the nation.

We even scored a full page feature article in one of Sweden’s highest-brow weekend papers.

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SM Guld!

The Mighty Solna Axemen – Swedish National Champions (SM-Guld) after winning the VB Cup in Karlstad!

Got up at 5am for the three hour drive to Karlstad.

Had been looking forward to this one for months.

Teams from across the country were converging in the middle of the country for AFL Sweden’s most prestigious prize – the VB Cup.

The Berserkers made the trek from Göteborg, the Maulers hiked up from Malmö, the Diggers came down from Falun and a few booze-happy students staggered across to make up the Uppsala Cardinals. They joined the big-bodied Helsingborg West Raptors, the ever-willing-to-argue-with-the-umpire Bromma Vikings, hosts the Karlstad Dragons, and of course the MIGHTY Solna Axemen.

Overnight rain had made conditions in the early matches difficult, but the sun soon came out and by early afternoon I was reaching for the sun-screen. Being reigning premiers, the Axemen had high hopes for the Cup, but last week’s loss to the Vikings, as well as the practice match debacle against the Dragons had made us realise just how tough the competition would be.

Group Matches:

Game 1: Solna Axemen def. Port Malmö Maulers

The Maulers struggled to make up the numbers, so with zero players on their interchange we were able to run them off their feet. But considering their clear disadvantage (we had six on the bench and were continually rotating fresh legs), the boys from Port Malmö put up a good fight.

Game 2: Solna Axemen def. Karlstad Dragons

The rematch. We were told to forget about our dismal performance against the Dragons last month and start fresh for this game. But I couldn’t get the memories of Vulcan’s boot smashing into my stomach out of my head. Karlstad were the hosts and had a big home crowd (AT LEAST forty people by this stage of the day) on their side. They were keen to keep the Cup in town and came out hard.

The Axemen, however, weren’t going to suffer a second humiliation and quickly got the jump, heading into the break a few goals up. It was a tight second half, but in the end the Axemen had the superior skills and showed the other teams we were a genuine contender to be drinking out of the Cup come day’s end.

Game 3: Solna Axemen def. Uppsala Cardinals

The students from Uppsala (the University/party town an hour North of Stockholm) were already out of contention by this stage of the day, but we needed a win to take top spot in our group and the luxury of a slightly more comfortable route to the Final.

In the end the Cardinals had one eye on the beer fridge as the Axemen ran all over them. A solid win ahead of the semis.

Semi Final:

While the Vikings were cruising to the final against the Dragons on the other field, the Axemen were locked in an epic with Helsingborg. In a scary flashback to the aforementioned practice match against Karlstad (where I duelled Vulcan from Gladiators), the Raptors fielded more than a couple of guys that clearly spend waaaay more time in the gym than on the field.

I was goal-umpiring earlier in the day when Helsingborg almost got over the top of the highly-fancied Vikings, so it was obviously going to be a tough path to the Grand Final.

But the boys from Solna once again flew out of the gates and within no time were four goals up.

Eventually our opponents began stamping their physical presence on the game and by half-time it was virtually dead even.

A rousing half-time speech couldn’t prevent us from conceding the opening goal early of the second half. Helsingborg were full of voice and it looked like the game might have turned.

However a few heroic runs down the wing and plenty of screaming (more on that later…) of our own and we were back in it.

With a few minutes left on the clock the tension was almost unbearable.

Would the Axemen make it to the final and justify the painfully early Saturday morning drive? Or would the Raptors deliver the knockout punch (literally)?

In the end our full-forward Joel Tjernlund finally found his kicking boots and sealed a memorable passage to the final for the boys from Solna.

We were all bruised and battered, but only had 40 minutes to recover before the final – an all Stockholm affair against arch-rivals the Bromma Vikings.

Grand Final:

Games against Bromma are always heated. The Axemen cleaned them up in last year’s Stockholm League Grand Final, and last week the Vikings returned the favour in a spiteful Round Two clash.

Our cross-town foes are never short of confidence, and started the game feeling more than a little cocky about their chances.

But not for the first time in the day, our midfielders set a cracking pace early and within minutes we were 18 points clear, causing the Vikings to begin their now-customary ritual of assuming the role of second umpire a little earlier than usual.

However it didn’t take long for their gun full-forward Trevor to get into the game, and by half-time he’d already kicked a bag and sent his side 8 points up.

Some inspirational half-time words from former-male-model turned Coach, Ryan Kingsley, spurned on the boys and we came out guns blazing. In a see-sawing affair we managed to keep our noses in front as the clock ticked down.

The crowd had swelled (at LEAST sixty-seventy people by this stage, many were suggesting it was a ground record…), Bromma’s full-forward had kicked his seventh goal and Coach Kingsley had taken the Mark of the Year (much to the joy of the female fans).

But then emotions boiled over and the two stars were going at it, resulting in a five-minute ban for our fearless Coach.

This injustice only served to motivate the Axemen, and within minutes we had kicked two goals clear thanks to some straight-shooting from Joel T that would make any AFL footballer blush.

As the siren rang we were almost too tired to celebrate.

Five games in eight hours.

But once the Cup was presented and the champagne started flowing, we managed to find our voices again.

Above: Captain Courageous, Patty Hyberg.

Below: Full-forward and match-winner Joel Tjernlund, the always-smiling Coach Kingsley, and our Courageous Captain.

But it wasn’t over yet. We’d booked into a few cabins adjascent to the footy oval so we could spend a night celebrating out on the town (Karlstad literally is a town compared to Stockholm…).

Everyone wanted a piece of the Cup! Champagne, wine, beer – anything remotely alcoholic was being poured in and quickly drained back out.

By midnight the effects of screaming inspirational messages to teammates from the half-back flank were beginning to show.

I started sounding like I’d been on a binge of whiskey and cigarettes for the two weeks straight and by the wee hours of the morning was down to communicating via notes written on my mobile.

As the Schlager bars began to wind down, we took a cab back to the camping ground and passed out in our bunks.

Both shoulders, a few ribs, and 100% of both legs were in absolute pain. It was genuinely the most uncomfortable sleep I’ve ever had. There was only one spot – where I was sort of lying on a weird angle on my stomach – where I could lay down pain-free.

By the morning none of us could walk properly. We staggered over to the breakfast hall, where I proceeded to make a new nickname for myself by eating copious amounts of Kalles Kaviar.

After that it was the incredibly tired drive back to Stockholm – but the pain was unbelievably satisfying, as the Cup was making the trip home with us.

a.k.a. The Weekend That Never Wanted To End.

Thursday. I’m thinking to myself: in a couple of days I’ve got the big Grand Final rematch against the Vikings. I’ve been training solidly in the gym all week, feeling great, and really looking forward to a couple of early nights so I can come out firing on the weekend.

The next 48 hours were meant to be so simple: maybe catch up with a friend for a bit on Thursday night, relax at home Friday, and be well rested for the game come Saturday morning. Definitely no alcohol, and certainly no late nights.

Where did it all go so wrong?

It started with a call from Leo on Thursday afternoon. A bloody good bloke – you’ll never meet a more generous Swede. He’d just gotten back from jetsetting across the world for a month and wanted to share some of his adventures over dinner.

“Great,” I thought. Catch up with a couple of friends for a quiet night – won’t even have to worry about dinner.

Next thing I know it’s 2:15am and I’m running across town to catch the last night bus home for the next hour (the ever-reliable tunnelbana stopped running a long time ago).

I’m not sure if it was my obsession with Kristian’s iPhone or the potent Japanese liquor that Leo unveiled, but somewhere during the night I’d completely forgotten about my preparation for the Big Game.

So by the time I climb into bed, somewhere close to 3:30am, the sun is rising and I’m wondering how early I’ll have to be in bed Friday night to make up for this.

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Friday.

“No drinks. Early night.”

I enjoyed a good sleep-in and was looking forward to taking it easy that evening.

Then Leo called again (like I said, bloody good bloke, but I have to admit my body gets a little nervous every time his name flashes up on my phone nowadays).

There was a PhD Student party at the Karolinska Institute. Nothing over-the-top, he assured me.

I ummed and ahhed and then decided I could go out for ONE drink. No more, and definitely on the t-bana home before midnight.

Fast forward to 1am and I’m dancing to really, really bad Swedish music in a Schlager Hall (I’ve given up on getting this song out of my head).

Home by 4am.

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(You’ve gotta remember the guy standing next to me is about 8 feet
tall. Why on earth did I choose to stand next to HIM?)

Saturday. I wake up after six hours sleep. Two hours too few on any given day, let alone the day of the big game.

Despite falling off the wagon in the preceeding 48 hours, I felt good. I was PUMPED for the big Anzac Day Clash against the Bromma Aussies Vikings.

The game had plenty of spirit. We’d lined up to hear the Last Post on the bugle before the bounce, and both teams had a point to prove. With each team having six or seven players on the interchange the game was played at a frenetic pace (as frenetic as AFL in Sweden can get, anyway).

But with the Vikings’ gun full forward Trevor in fine form, the Axemen went into the break four goals down.

We weren’t about to roll over and concede, however. And after the break came out firing with two quick replies.

The Vikings started arguing with the umpire (surprise surprise), Trevor ran down to full-back to plug their defence, and we felt the tide was turning in our favour.

Alas, a couple of cheap kicks later and the game was all over.

Bromma Vikings 10-16-76 def. Solna Axemen 7-10-52

It was a disappointing loss, and my body was aching.

I was in no mood to go out.

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Saturday Afternoon. I make it home by 5pm. I’m exhausted. I’m considering crawling into bed right now and wondering if I’ll wake up again before Sunday. Probably not…

But no, Leila calls. “Join is in Södermalm for a couple of drinks and something to eat.”

Hmm, why not. It was a glorious day, no better way to forget about our loss than with a couple of drinks in the sun.

After a couple of hours I was ready to call it quits and head home for the night.

7pm. Leo calls. “Hey mate we’re going to a dance party tonight, pre-party at mine from 8pm, come over.”

I should have known right then and there that I wasn’t getting to bed for a long, looong time.

Leila and I head over to the pre-party at Leo’s.

I steadfastly refused any notion whatsoever of going to the dance party (I don’t dance, I have no idea what the difference between “House” and “Trance” music is, and I was already running on fumes), but was suddenly warming to the idea of a few more drinks.

I think this was my downfall:

I was being served vodka red bulls in giant glasses, which basically required a can and a half of red bull with three shots of vodka.

Before I knew it, I was high as a kite and making plans to get a permanent residency permit off a lovely young girl in exchange for me going out to the dance club.

(Red Bull starting to well and truly kick in)

The Anderssons!

“Yeah, nah let’s go dance for four and a half hours straight, definitely!”

(Tove was literally dancing this fast)

I have no idea who this DJ was… but the videos (that I’m deliberately withholding to save some form of credibility) suggest I was thoroughly enjoying his music.

The club ran til 4am. The tunnelbana (Metro) stops running at 3.45am. Well bloody timed!!

We tried in vain to get a taxi before giving up and walking allllll the way back to Leo’s as the sun came up.

Why not?

An hour later we were there.

The “korv” (hotdogs) tasted like heaven at 5.30 in the morning.

Andreas inventing the world’s most uncomfortable sleeping position.

“Yeah, nah feeling great guys.”

We all tried (and most failed) to sleep for a couple of hours before I made my way home after 8am.

I walk in the door of The Mansion at 9.30am. I’ve been going virtually non-stop for the past 60 hours. My body is aching from a brutal game of football, four hours on the dancefloor, an overdose of alcohol and Red Bull, and way, waaaaaaaay too little sleep.

But as I turned the key to our house, I stopped and thought for a moment just how beautiful the weather in Sweden had become. How it was green and colourful, how the sun was shining and the birds were chirping. It felt like the perfect way to end a fantastic weekend, and slip into an endless slumber.

Then I opened the door, and a big sign on the house noticeboard read “Outside Cleaning Day, Sunday 27/4, 10:30am, everyone be there”.

I think right at that moment I may have shed a tear.

I had just enough time for a shower and breakfast, then spent the next three hours scrubbing garden furniture.

By 1pm I crawled into my bed and never, ever got out of it again.

SAFF Round 1

Solna Axemen vs. Södermalm Blues

After getting comprehensively schooled by the Dragons last weekend, the mighty Solna Axemen were out to restore some credibility.

It was the opening round of the 2008 SAFF (Stockholm region Australian Football Federation!) season, and we were up against the unpredictable Södermalm Blues.

Söder missed the ’07 Grand Final (there are only three teams in the Stockholm AFL league… so if you miss out on the final you automatically collect the Wooden Spoon, ouch). But in an effort to make up for it in 2008, they’ve been putting in the hard yards all pre-season – constantly showing up to the early Sunday sessions with a full squad.

We were expecting a tough clash.

Fortunately we had some big returns for the season opener, in particular our captain courageous Patty Hyberg.

The absolutely brilliant springtime weather had well and truly kicked in around Stockholm, so we had a glorious, sunny day at the home of Swedish football: Årsta.

With the wind at our backs we got off to a flying start. In no time piling on the pressure via the scoreboard, as well as giving the Blues a lesson in tough, physical footy.

Bucks crunched Söder’s star midfielder Maxy Larsson, our President Mike Nabb got sent off for a stray elbow, and I managed to keep my hair clean on the half-back flank.

With a strong lead going into the second half, we were close to finishing them off. And when former SANFL player and male model “Coach Kingsley” tore past three hapless defenders to kick a clever goal from the pocket, it was all over.

A solid start to the season in front of a capacity crowd of 32 at Årsta Stadium back-field:

Solna Axemen 77 def. Södermalm Blues 38

Next week we’ve got the Grand Final replay (again, with only three teams we’re gonna have a “grand final replay” every third week…) against the Bromma Aussies Vikings – always a heated affair.

But of course it wouldn’t be a win without a celebration. So afterwards the team headed to a nice little pub in Sundbyberg for a few quiet drinks.

Somehow a few drinks turned into 10, and before I knew it a few of the Axemen, along with a couple of girls (that were quite possibly twice my age), were showing me the way to the famed Garbo’s nighclub.

I soon realised it’s famous for all the wrong reasons. But just like a car-crash I couldn’t look away. In the end I stumbled home at 5am with the sun well and truly up and my body very much hating me for not having gone to bed 10 hours earlier.

I’ll be sure to look after myself a bit better next weekend.

This weekend was Amanda’s turn to escape the clutter of London town.

It was also my first game for the mighty Solna Axemen, with a practice match against cross-country rivals the Karlstad Dragons.

The beautiful springtime weather took a break, and we had cold, blustery conditions reminiscent of Winter in Victoria.

Heading into the match we were under-strength, but still confident.

Given my immense understanding of the game of Australian Rules Football (sure I’ve seen plenty of games, but I’ve PLAYED all of two seasons in my life – when I was 14…) the team saw fit to throw me in the backline.

I didn’t think I was quite built to be a defender, but I was determined to give it everything regardless.

We warmed up, went through the game plan, and ran out to our positions.

Then Karlstad ran out to their positions.

I was sort of hoping some short, medium-paced forward-pocket type player would come and line up on me. But alas the Dragons felt like having a laugh, and when my opponent ran over I had to do a double-take.

For a second I thought this guy was lining up on me:

(Vulcan from TV’s Gladiators!)

I was so outsized and outmuscled that it may as well have been.

It soon became obvious that his biceps were bigger than my head, and after I tried to smother his kick only to get a boot in the hip, then try and hip & shoulder him only to bounce off him like a rubber ball, our fullback Niklas put me out of my misery and took over the duel.

That, of course, meant I had to play full-back.

I don’t QUITE remember seeing a 176cm full-back ever run out onto the MCG, but I was so fired up just to be playing my first game I gave it everything I could.

In the end everything was sadly nowhere near enough. Despite some third-quarter heroics, the reigning premiers got a lesson in football from the vastly-underrated boys from Karlstad.

Karlstad Dragons 93 def. Solna Axemen 55

———

We spent the rest of the weekend wandering around the city, with Amanda taking in the beauty of Stockholm and me complaining about how tight my hammies were.

A trip to the world’s 7th best market hall, a reunion with Iron Boy, photo shoot at City Hall, and some drinks in a very swish bar overlooking the Old Town.

The ugliest fish in the world. Amanda was impressed.

Australia! (Why it’s being advertised eight months before it’s premiere I have no idea…)

“Jog it off Parker!!”

Amanda being reunited with Iron Boy.