Swedish Parker!

London ’07, part II

So nice to relax for five days in London; catching up with friends without doing one bit of sightseeing.

Amanda’s 24th at B@1 – the bar with six-hour long, 2-for-1 cocktail Happy Hours. Brilliant.

Then to the place with the greatest playlist I’ve ever heard at a nightclub – Metro.

—–

From London I caught the 6:30am flight back to Stockholm. Unfortunately 6:30am was the only 1p Ryanair flight I could find (of course I’ll do anything for a 1p flight…).

And apparently I’m not the only one.

I arrived at Stansted Airport just after midnight, ready to settle down on a nice comfy chair for the next six hours. Only, there weren’t any chairs left.

In fact, there was nowhere to sit at all. Anything resembling a chair or bench had been taken up by a homeless backpacker using Stansted as their free accommodation while they waited for their cheap flight to their next hostel.

I couldn’t believe the sight, there were literally hundreds of people sleeping on chairs, on the floor, at the check-in desks, anywhere there was room.

Next time I think I’ll just pay an extra 15 pounds for a flight at a convenient hour…

—–

In my farewell email, when I left the Government, I wrote:

“I’ve accepted an exciting position at IKEA; I’ll be a chauffer, driving a silver-grey Volvo for my new blonde-haired, meatball-loving, boss Sven Johansson.”

Amazingly, several people believed me.

Is this a sign?

Well, it’s going to take 45 minutes to get there. Oh and we’ll have to change lines three times.

More adventures in the city of chaos (see the full photo album @ flickr)

Five-storey toy shops, world-famous department stores, zany zoos, canal busses, restaurants dedicated entirely to hummus, overpriced movie theatres, sickeningly sweet Bangladeshi treats, joy from reading The Guardian, sex-slave protestors, nauseous from reading The Sun, dinner with old friends, more walking around the Monopoly board, performing quite badly in the “local knowledge” section of a trivia night, “tube snot”, High Street shopping, whacky old architecture, numerous streets-with-songs-named-after-them, never-ending escalators, Giant Gherkins, and 12 different underground rail lines to navigate.

And some photos:

Pretty sure I can die happy now.

Ricky Gervais, live. Absolutely brilliant.

In my infinite stubborness, I’d waited until three days before the event to purchase tickets to a sold-out show that we had planned to see for months.

I was certain eBay scalpers would get desperate with only days left, and thus sell gold seats at a reduced price.

In the end my plan (only just) worked: 9th row centre seats for 30% under face value, cheers.

And what better way to top off a Ricky Gervais live show than with a pint of Courage.

What’s the, umm, brewery in Swindon?
Might be Courage actually…

Unfortunately the beer didn’t live up to it’s comedic legacy – it was rubbish.

10 days in London (see the full photo album @ flickr)

First impressions of London:

A tube strike isn’t the most convenient thing in a city this chaotic.

Then again, a tube strike means you don’t have to ride the tube, which is a good thing.

Everything is a famous landmark.

Every street, every suburb, every building… everything has a recognisable name. I felt like I was playing Monopoly during history class.

There are a lot of people, everywhere, and most of them seem to be running late.

Big Ben is smaller, the London Eye bigger, and the Thames dirtier than I’d imagined.

The Tate Modern is the coolest building in London (an old power station, it was also KLF’s preferred site for their K Foundation Burns a Million Quid “art” project <– true/crazy story).

There’s something hypnotic about the Trafalgar Square Lions.

Camden is a cool little place. Bit alternative.

Unfortunately the local “drug bridge” attraction was closed this day, instead there were four cops on the bridge, in place of the dealers.

The National Gallery and Tate Modern have a lot of famous artworks in them.

I prefer the famous ones. A fact not lost on Amanda, who at several points walked away in embarrassment as I either exclaimed for the third time “That one’s famous!” or chastised a painting for the fourth time for not making sense/looking like it wouldn’t be that hard to paint.

The Portobello Road Markets are very cool. They have ancient world maps and giant curry pots, what more do you need really?